Friday, October 17, 2014

call centre troubles


         TAKE A LOOK:
        1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click
         on the Open Desktop."
         Customer "Ok."

        Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
        Customer: "No."

       Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you
      see a pop-up menu?"

       Customer "No."

       Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what
      you have done up until this point?"

       Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click'
      and I wrote 'click'."


       2) Customer: "I received the software update
      you sent, but I am still getting the same error

     Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"

       Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it
    to get it to work?"


       3)Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing
      Microsoft Word."

       Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

       Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."

       Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and
     tell me what it says."

       Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore
      and Recovery disk'."

       Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup

       Customer:: "What?"

       Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

      Customer: "No..."


       4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use
       your software?"

       Tech Support:: ?!%#$


       5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand

    side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button

       Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from


       6) Tech Support: : "What type of computer do
     you have?"

       Customer:: "A white one."


       7). Tech Support:: "What operating system are
      you running?"

       Customer: "Pentium."


       8). Customer: "My computer's telling me I
    performed an illegal abortion."


       9).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."


       10).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"


       11). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer.
 I urgently need to print document, but the computer
 won't boot properly."

       Tech Support: "What does it say?"

       Customer: "Something about an error and
 non-system disk."

       Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there
 a floppy inside?"

      Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying
 there's an Intel inside."


       12). Tech Support: "Just call us back if
 there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

       Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"


       13). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say

       Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

       Tech Support:: "Well?"

       Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

        best of the lot

       14). A plain computer illiterate   guy rings
 tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

       Tech: What's the problem?

       User: There is smoke coming out of the power

       Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

       User: No, I don't! I just need to change the
 startup files.

       Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll
 need to replace it.

       User: No way! Someone told me that I just
 needed to change the startup and it will fix the
 problem! All I need is for you to tell me the

       10 minutes later, the User is still adamant

 that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

       Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our
 customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS
 command that will fix the problem.

       User: I knew it!

       Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at
 the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes.

       10 minutes later.

       User: It didn't work. The power supply is
 still smoking.

       Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

       User: MS-DOS 6.22.

       Tech: That's your problem there. That version
of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft
 and ask them for a patch that will give you the
 file. Let me know how it goes.

       1 hour later.

       User: I need a new power supply.

       Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

       User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him
 about what you said, and he started asking questions
 about the make of power supply.

       Tech: Then what did he say?

       User: He told me that my power supply isn't
 compatible with NOSMOKE.


       15) customer care officer:I need a product
 identification no: right now and may I help u in
 finding it out?

       Cust: sure

       CCO: could u left click on start and do u find
 'My Computer'?

       Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I
 find your computer?

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